i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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