maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
