you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
