How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
