As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
