where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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