It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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