Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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