We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
