I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
