hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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