It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
