The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize