she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am one with the molecules
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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