Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
