White coat. Heels.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
