you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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