When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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