My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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