so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
