I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
