Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
PANTIES FOUND
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
