dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
