I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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