i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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