Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
