i wish there were pregnant emoticons
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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