I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
