I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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