i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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