you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
