We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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