So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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