omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine