My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”