Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
