she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.