Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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