she was so not down for the gang bang
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
