I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
