dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
