i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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