Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
