She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize