If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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