so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
