So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
