they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
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Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry about my life...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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