I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
