I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
