im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize