Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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