What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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