he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
