I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
