can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
