She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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