He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
