Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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