just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
