brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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