He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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