It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i love accidental penises.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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