what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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