i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
