I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
